This is just wrong!

I don’t know exactly where I want to start off with this post. It has been a very enlightening weekend to say the least. I think I’m going to skip right to my adventures with Twilight and save the rest of the weekend for a more serious post. I started reading Breaking Dawn today. I wasn’t planning on it but I had to gear up for a long stay in the ER and I knew I would need something to distract me from my fear of hospitals, death and everything along those lines. Now that I think about it, reading about psychotic vampires isn’t exactly the best thing to get my mind of my fear of death, is it? Thank goodness I got super lucky and the hospital is very ghetto so nobody goes there for anything important. Everything was taken care of and I was able to leave before my crazy fear set in.

I can honestly say that despite all my friend’s warnings about this book and my complete and utter loathing for the whole series, I am still shockingly disgusted by this book in particularly! The idea that people read this crap and like it is reason enough to be locked up if you ask me. I’m not sure which part I would like to go after first. But I think I’ll start with the fact that imprinting sound like a dog marking his territory!


I pretty much have the cutest dog in the world! Nobody can deny that. She is so small and cute, with her big ears that make her look like a little bat dog. Nobody can help but want to pick her up and cuddle her to pieces! The only problem is that my little baby is a half Chihuahua. If you know anything about Chihuahua’s you’ll know you don’t want to mess with them! They are VERY territorial. If you get to close to this little 5lb bundle of cuteness when she is in the wrong mood you are likely to die. Nobody thinks so at first because she is so cute and small but that quickly changes when she has her razor sharp teeth pierced into you flesh! When I read about Imprinting I can’t help but think of my little dog protecting the territory she had marked but it is even worse!

Stupid werewolves don’t just find an unsuspecting natural “territory” to pee on (aka their soul mate, hahaha like that visual? Werewolf peeing on a girl! Do you still think Jacob is sexy now?) They imprint on little babies! How wrong is that?! That is so much worse then a pedophile! At least pedophiles know on some level that they are doing something wrong. These freaks think it’s romantic! It absolutely disgusts me!! I didn’t mind Jacob at all until I was reading about him being ok with his best friend, Qwil, madly in love with a 3 year old!! I’m sorry but who in their right mind thinks that this is acceptable? And Although I haven’t read about it yet I know that Jacob marks his territory on a baby too! You can not possibly tell me that any rational person thinks this is ok.

And don’t even get me started on the horridness that was Bella getting pregnant! Besides me being horror-stricken reading about how she got that way, the whole thought of having a half vampire half human inside you that is slowly killing you is just revolting! And of course Bella thinks this is all a great idea! Why wouldn’t she? She is obviously the biggest genius who ever walked the earth!! She also thinks it’s a great idea to love a vampire who thinks her blood is his own personal form of crack and he is the ultimate druggy! I’m not going to lie, the fact that Edward thinks this pregnancy thing is crazy makes me think a little higher of him, although thinking a little higher of a guy who I disgust to the end of the earth isn’t much!

Thank goodness tomorrow is a holiday so when I have a crazy nightmare about this crap tonight I don’t have to worry about waking up at the butt-crack-of-dawn and teaching all day!

Tragedy

It is with much grief, pain and sorrow that I announce the unexpected passing from this life of my good friend, roommate and pet fish. Crayola was a great fish! He loved to play hide-and-seek in his castle and entertain the many guests who would stop by. He was a great listener and would always take the time to blow bubbles of love to anybody in need of cheering up. Although Crayloa is no longer living in this life his spirit can be found in the hearts of everybody who has ever met him. A celebration of Crayola’s life is being held this weekend at Thai restaurants throughout the Island of Oahu. All those who were sincerely inspired by the unbiased selflessness and sacrifice of Crayola the fish are invited to attend these celebrations of life!

Back in the day (you know like a month and a half ago) when I had time on my hands I was a frequent reader of this blog. Of course I have never met Molly but I almost feel like I know her as I read though the tragedy she went through when her daughter died and how her life will never be the same. Anyway, she has a documentary that is airing on BYU-tv and I wanted to share it.

Mel

The Terror Is Almost Over

I finished reading Eclipse this morning. To my complete and utter frustration Bella is still alive. I just don’t understand how that could be. There isn’t one quality I find even remotely loveable about her. She is just a whinny little over obsessive heartless loser! I find it ridiculous that she would have even one guy be remotely interested in her, much less two “perfect” guys head over heels in love. But I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on her, she has such a horrendous life. I know that every time I have two perfect guys who are so deeply in love with me, they are willing to give anything for just one second of my attention I just HATE IT!!! It’s pretty much the worst thing EVER! I would gladly be gang-raped and slowly tortured to death then have two guys so deeply in love with me!! She has every reason to be such a little horror! Let’s face it, that situation just sucks!!! I must admit that there were a few awesome parts of this book. (Keep reading, Alicia! Don’t let your head get to big until I can explain!) Just like when I saw the movie, I couldn’t help but laugh historically at a few parts. My favorite part of the movie was when Bella broke her hand, “I kissed Bella... and she broke her hand... punching my face. Total misunderstanding.” When I was reading that part of the book I was in the waiting room at the hospital; I was laughing so hard that tears were building up in my eyes and people were looking at me like I was crazy! I also love in the movie when Jacob says, “let's face it, I am hotter than you” and I was sincerely hoping I would get to read about Edwards reaction to the truthfulness of the dual meaning of this statement. But of course it’s Twilight and it has to be a huge disappointment! I think my favorite quote of the book has to be, “Alice, don’t you think this is just a little bit controlling? Just a tiny bit psychotic, maybe?” HAHA…No, stupid Bella, Edward is not at all crazy! He is just a distraught vampire who wants to know exactly where you are at every second of the day so he can have you all to himself and slowly suck out your blood until your heart stops…Why would you ever think for a moment that he was controlling or psychotic?!

I have only one more lame book to read and then the horror will be over! I’m not sure when I’ll be able to read it but I’m looking forward to the creepy things that happen to me everyday as a result of Twilight to stop!!

On a non-Twilight/happy note! I start teaching on my own on Monday. I am really nerves! I hope I can do it!! The two things I worry about the most are the kids listening to me and coming up with fun and interesting lessons that will really teach something. I feel like I’m getting better, although I also feel like I’m so mean!! They seem to still like me though. They think I’m magic! HAHA!! One day at lunch I did a super lame trick for them and now everyday they beg me to do it. It’s really funny! At least it’s one way to get their attention!! Anyway I think I’m going to go take a nap before I have to do a bunch of stuff. Peace out!

Mel


PS. Last night I went out and saw Just Go With It. That movie was so good!!! I highly recommend you all go see it!!

“be like a vampire and stalk me!”

I got a message with the subject line, “your nightmares give me nightmares”. I thought it was super funny and I wanted to share:

“I was facebook stalking you and I came across your blog. I read something about the Twilight books giving you stalker nightmares. All the sudden I had a nightmare about you stalking me. But it wasn’t so much a nightmare as it was a very pleasant day-dream that I pray will come true. So please my darling, be like a vampire and stalk me!”

HAHA! I think my new favorite quote will be, “be like a vampire and stalk me!”

I was totally right about reading Twilight causing crazy things to happen to me. I picked up the next book this morning and started reading a few pages, a little while later I went out to eat with my friends (more Thai food! it was heavenly) and it happened…. This crazy guy came up to our table telling us how his friends wouldn’t give him a ride back to base until he got my number. One of my friends is even more sarcastic then I am and told him that we would be more then happy to help him by giving a fake number. I have to give the poor guy credit, he didn’t give up; he called the fake number on speaker phone right there in front of us making me feel super bad. Although I don’t normally give my number to random guys who come up to me while I’m eating delicious red curry (yuuummmm!) I felt kind of inclined to because he wouldn’t give up and he seemed way better then the last military guy who stalked me in Wal-Mart inviting himself to the party we were obviously having that night. I’m going back to the theory that my friends gave me the Twilight series to get back at me for making fun of Lord of the Rings! I swear it has to be the book of the devil!

Anyway, I had a fantastic day today. I did all of my favorite things; beach, walking, shopping, eating Thai food, I even went to a party! Tomorrow will be super busy with church, lesson plans then our weekly family dinner and movie night. This weekend was exactly what I needed! I couldn’t be happier!!!

Fear

I have been told by several people that I need to stop joking about being gang raped. From what people say, being gang raped is not a joking matter. I just don’t understand this, I for one am petrified at the idea which is exactly why I joke about it. It helps me deal with my paranoia. I few people have expressed their concern of some crazy, twisted, psycho, no doubt Twilight loving, freak reading my blog and deciding to stalk me, kidnap me and then play out my worst fear exactly how I described it. And as one person told me, the freak with probably even dress up as a vampire just for kicks and giggles. Since I am paranoid enough to believe crap like this I am going to try really hard to not joke about such serious matters. (I guess we’ll see how long that goes, haha!)

On a whole different note, many of you have asked how teaching is going. Sorry I have been ignoring your questions. I guess in the little time I have to myself I haven’t felt like writing about it. I do love it though, every single second!! In the last few weeks I realized something interesting, one of the hardest things about being a teacher is not playing with the kids. I love kids and one of my favorite things to do was always run around playing whatever the kids wanted to play. As a teacher you are kinda expected to just sit back and supervise while the kids play with each other. The kids don’t really understand this social norm so they will ask me to play, give piggy-back-rides, eat lunch with them, etc and normally I would but because I’m a teacher I have to decline. It’s really hard for me to tell them no and see their sad faces, especially the kids I really like.

I also find it so funny how many of my kids are obsessed with vampires and werewolves. I even have one little boy in my class who can spit out the sides of his mouth to look like vampire fangs and then slowing suck in his spit to look like he is hiding his fangs. It’s so nasty but at the same time a pretty good talent for a 5 year old.

Tonight I went out and had the most amazing food at Phukets Thai, one of my favorite restaurants in town. It was so good! We discovered that you can order “thai spicy” and its way hotter then the normal spicy food. It was amazing! It was so hot that my eyes were watering and nose was running, but worth it! Anyway, its late and I have big plans tomorrow so I’m off to bed!