I know I have been away for a long time but I couldn’t pass
up the opportunity to post about my most recent dating experiences. That’s
right, it may have been a long time but nothing has changed that much, I’m
still the Cheeper Magnet.
I was dating a guy for awhile but things didn’t work out. It
was a little complicated at first because me live in the same apartment
complex, hang out with the same people and are really good friends with each
other’s roommates. But when we were finally way done with each other I decided
I needed to get back into the dating world. I was very sad to find out that
dating did not improve at all while I was away; in fact it has gotten much
worse! In honor of the horrible dates I have been on lately I bring to you….
Dating Tips from the
Creeper Magnet
1. Have a job and ambition- this has never crossed my
mind before because I just assumed it was obvious but boy was I wrong!! Your
fancy college degree only impresses for about 5 seconds before it is known how
long you have been graduated and that you have applied for not one single job.
I don’t quite understand how somebody could go though grad
school with no thought of what they were going to do after graduation. I know
some stupid girls do that thinking that they would get married and never need
to work but you are a man! Get off your butt and get a job! Yes, finding your
dream job can be difficult but apply for something, ANYTHING!! Even working
fast food is better than not doing anything!
This brings me to my next tip…
2. The only thing
worse than a guy with a college degree living with his parents is a guy with a
college degree who is living off his parents! – I would say this is pretty
self explanatory. I rather you live at home so your parents aren’t wasting
their money paying your rent while you play video games all day every day.
3. If you say you are
going to dinner make it a real dinner- If you can’t afford to take a girl
to dinner that’s fine. Don’t tell her before hand you’ll do dinner just to take
her to a fast food restaurant to use your free sandwich coupons.
4. Do not try to get
a girl to come to your bedroom and watch a movie on the first date- If I
have to explain why that is creepy you don’t deserve to be asking girls out.
5. Marriage obsessed
is a turn off- I always knew girls who were obsessed with getting married
but I never knew a guy before. When you tell me 2 minutes into our date that I
should be depressed that my younger siblings beat me to the alter like you are,
chances are my brain is working over time trying to come up with an excuse for
me to need to go home.
6. Good pick up lines
are not, “I noticed 5 seconds ago you made it so your boyfriend is no longer in
your profile pic, want to go out?”- Come on, for real? I think almost
anything is better than that.
7. Complements can be
creepy- Every girl loves to be told she is beautiful! I’ll be the first to
admit that I probably love it more than most girls. You might be able to tell
by the way my kindergarteners yell out “Ms. Tyler you are pretty” whenever I go
to discipline them. But let me just say there is a fine line between sweet and
creepy and when you start saying it every 2 minutes you are so far past the
line, the line is a dot to you! (Yes, that was just a reference to the best
show of all time, Friends, in case you were wondering!)
Also, Don’t admit that you had seen her at a party over a
year ago but she was talking to a guy and then disappeared, and you had been
searching for her ever since. It’s not a complement when you say that on the
first date along with all the other creepy stuff you have done.
8. Get the hints- After
no texts or calls back just go away! Don’t sent texts like, “Are you ok?
Haven’t heard back from you in awhile.” Do you think you are her mother? The
reason she didn’t text you back was because you are a creep and she wants
nothing to do with you. Suck it up and move on.
9. Don’t try to turn
her into the bad person because she says she isn’t interested- everybody
gives me such a hard time because I’ll make up excuses for not going out on
dates and not just be honest and say I’m not interested. The one time I took
the advice from every guy I have ever known, the guy freaked out on me. I still
don’t understand what the big deal was. I was nice about it and I had given him
a chance but I wasn’t interested. He seemed like a very honest type so I
thought I would go for it. I’m pretty sure even though every guy in the world
will tell girls to just be honest, they really rather have the lame excuse.
10. Don’t ask out over
Facebook- I can’t believe I have to say this! Ask for her number and then
CALL HER!
Believe it or not these are real life experiences I have had
the last few weeks. And sadly it’s not even all of them. I’m sure my prince is
out there some where and boy is he making me work for it!
