TWILIGHT GIVES ME NIGHTMARES!

Although I do like to be a little overly dramatic and sarcastic on my blog I am not at all kidding about Twilight giving me nightmares! When I read it before I go to bed I have dreams about crazy guys stalking me, hiding outside my window at night, watching me sleep, and professing their crazed “love” for me in the most disturbing ways. I hope you are not laughing at this because I am completely serious and it’s scaring me! The only thing that is keeping me from freaking out over every tinny sound is that in all of my dreams I’m in California. As much as I love that place and can’t wait to go home I’m thinking about making Hawaii permanent. Yep, I’m that terrified!


















To make things even worse my little kindergarteners like to run up to me saying they are vampires and are sucking my blood. They make a big *Slurp* sound and run off yelling back, “Ms. Tyler, you’re dead!” just as another group runs to tell me they are werewolves, “RAWR!!!!” I can promise you that along with my kindergartener knowing how to tie his/her own shoes so the teacher is tortured everyday, my kindergartener also will have no idea what Twilight is or know anything about vampires! I am thinking that in my house hold the word “vampire” is going to be worse then the F-word, right up their with the word, “snow” and “Utah”.

Anyway, I have finished the second book. I was VERY disappointed!!! There isn’t a ton to make fun of. I don’t mind Jacob at all; he isn’t a psychopath trying to torture the most ridiculous girl who ever lived. I actually think he is a pretty good guy; crazy for liking Bella, but a pretty good guy none the less. The thing that concerns me the most about this book is that stupid teenage girls are reading this crap thinking that this is the kind of “love” they want. When a guy dumps her butt for being crazy she is going to hold on to the hope that one day he’ll return to her telling her he only left to “keep her safe”. When in reality he was running to keep himself safe from an idiot who wants to love a crazed super stalking vampire! It also romanticizes death, suicide, obsessive behavior and depression. I really don’t think that is a message we should be sending the teenage girls of America!

I have decided to take a little break from reading Twilight for a while so I will stop having a freaky stalker moment everyday. I’m not at all kidding; everyday since I started reading that crap something horrible has happened to me; everything from nightmares of guys back home stalking me, to a guy running around with a gun keeping me from getting home, guys outside my window in the middle of the night and somebody proclaiming publicly his romantic feelings for me. I am pretty sure that these are all signs that Twilight was inspired by the devil and people who read it are cursed.